Tequila Spidermen - The Beginning

Sometimes the best ideas come from modest beginnings. The Tequila Spidermen came about after an evening spent with friends at the Bridge Street Brewery after having watched the Boks play the All Blacks (or Wallabies or the Argentinean Los Pumas). There happened to be a tequila promotion on, and the Swordmaster needed no encouragement to order a round, pick a lucky card and win a prize. The prize, a Spiderman-like mask adorned in woodcut-style print, became the icon – and chief photobomb prop – for the group. This was the catalyst to an evening of madness and the creation of the Tequila Spidermen.

The idea of the blog is to provide reviews of the various establishments that we go to, with each of us delegated to appraise particular elements based on our ‘expertise’. We score each of the elements out of ten on the Spidermen scale of lekkerness, with one being, ’Really kak‘, and ten being, ’Take bail money’.

Let me introduce you to the blog’s five contributors – the original Tequila Spidermen:  

The Hangman: With an IQ higher than Einstein and Stephen Hawkins combined (especially when drunk and slouched on a bar chair), as well as a palate trained especially for the tasting of Craft Beer, Hangman is the best person in the group to review the establishment on value for money as well as the local brew, crafted or otherwise.

The Scribe: She is probably the most level-headed and mild-mannered of the group, but give her just one tequila and it’s, ’I am in the mood to party!’ The task of reviewing the establishments’ cleanliness and whatever else floats her goat is in her capable hands.

The Baroness: A stickler for quality, and an experienced pub-crawler, Baroness is the perfect person to rate venues on their service levels (or lack thereof). She’ll also keep an eye on the bail money.

The Swordmaster: What we can say about him is that he is able to talk to any woman – married or single; young or old – and get them to take off their tops. Entertainment is his portfolio; he’ll tell you what to expect from the music (live or otherwise), to the size of big screens for sports events, as well as the availability of single women. We’ve also asked him to rate the food and availability of tequila.

The Jester: I have been tasked to write about the interesting or weird characters that we come across, and to learn about the establishments’ histories. The reason for the former is probably to get me to come out of my shell – since I am the quietest one in the group, it was thought that I might benefit from being forced to speak to other people.

We do not profess to be able to write as well as Deon Meyer, Patricia Cornwell, Naas Botha or Enid Blyton – that is not what this is about. What you will get from the blog is an honest, no-nonsense, down-to-earth, unsponsored, uncensored and colourful review of the establishments that we have ended up at. Another certainty is that the blog will evolve over time and, like any good wine, mature as we review more establishments and become more proficient at imparting the stories behind the venues. We hope you enjoy.